Welcome to the shitty city of Seattle, where every notable structure from the Seattle Schools headquarters to the Seattle Times building is rumored to be a haven for gay pedophiles.

Or are the pedophiles operating out of one of Seattle’s sleazy law firms?

Many minorities who have been driven out of Seattle by “gentrification” believe they were really pushed out by Jews. They may be right; Seattle is looking more Jewish every day.

But the Jews seem invisible in the shadow of those twin sports stadiums that appear to be a subsidiary of Microsoft. (Gotta love that name, Rapeco Field.)

You might think you’re on a different planet if you drive by the late Paul Allen’s Experience Music Museum, which one local media whore compared to a crushed Coke can. It’s just across the street from the headquarters of the Gates Foundation, an investment firm masquerading as a charity. Even the headquarters is tax-subsidized.

Rumor has it that the secretive Washington Roundtable meets here.

Thank God Seattle still has its most famous icon, the Space Needle. Unfortunately, you might have a hard time visiting without bumping into a lot of corporate scum, yuppies, Jews, and pedophiles. But, hey, that’s Seattle!